Published Thursday, November 05, 2026 at 07:26 AM PT

Burbank · Thursday, November 5, 2026 · 7:26 AM · 55°F, 78% humidity, wind 0 mph ESE (gusts 2), 29.43 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 2

Recipe Recommendations

The Pitmaster’s Plate

Foil-Boat Beef Tallow Brisket gluten-free · dairy-free · fully cooked

Sixteen hours for one brisket. Pellet-smoker people call that a hobby, everyone else calls it a hostage situation. The payoff is allthingsbbq’s foil-boat finish: the brisket gets wrapped in tallow-lined butcher paper, then sits in an open foil boat so the top stays exposed and the bark keeps setting while the flat stays juicy. Serves 15, and it’s a treat. Cook it for a crowd, not a Tuesday.

Ingredients

  • 1 whole packer prime brisket
  • 1 cup beef tallow, divided
  • 1 tbsp butcher-style brine (for the injection)
  • Salt-and-pepper rub, generous (swap for the source’s pre-mixed all-purpose seasoning, which keeps the bark savoury, sugar-free and garlic-free)

Method

  1. Remove the fat cap completely from the point, leave a 1/4" cap on the flat, and shave off any large chunks of hard surface fat.
  2. Shake 3/4 cup tallow with the brine in a small jar and inject it throughout the flat.
  3. Rub the excess tallow over the whole brisket, then season generously all over.
  4. Bring the pellet grill to a steady 225°F. Smoke on the second shelf until the bark is dark and the internal temperature hits roughly 165°F, about 12 hours.
  5. Spread the remaining 1/4 cup tallow over butcher paper in the rough shape of the brisket, set the brisket on it and wrap tightly.
  6. Double a large sheet of foil, set the paper-wrapped brisket on top, and form a boat around the bottom, leaving the top of the paper exposed.
  7. Return it to the smoker until probe tender and roughly 205°F internal.
  8. Rest 1-2 hours in a cooler or hot box before slicing.

Serve with a crisp cucumber salad or charred zucchini and a scatter of scallion greens as the low-carb side.

Source: allthingsbbq, Beef Tallow Smoked Brisket

Pairs with: a Scotch, neat.

The Pescatarian Plate

Garlic Butter-Roasted Salmon with Beets & Broccoli

gluten-free · pescatarian · fully cooked

One sheet pan, forty minutes, and nobody has to stand over a stove like a hostage negotiator. The garlic gets roasted soft in a foil packet, mashed into herb butter, and then slathered on everything like it owes you money. It’s a dinner that looks like effort and costs you almost none, which is my favorite kind of lie. Adapted from EatingWell. Serves 4, and it lands at moderate: butter-forward, but there’s a whole head of broccoli standing guard.

Ingredients

  • 2 (8.8-ounce) packages refrigerated cooked beets, quartered (about 3 cups)
  • 1 medium head broccoli (12 ounces), cut into bite-size pieces (about 4 cups)
  • 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil, plus 2 teaspoons
  • 1 teaspoon ground pepper, divided
  • Ÿ teaspoon salt, divided
  • 6 medium cloves garlic, peeled
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, at room temperature
  • 3 tablespoons chopped fresh tender herbs (tarragon, chives and/or flat-leaf parsley), plus more for garnish
  • 4 (4-ounce) skinless salmon fillets, patted dry

Method

  1. Preheat the oven to 425°F. Toss the beets and broccoli with 1 tablespoon oil, œ teaspoon pepper and Œ teaspoon salt on a large rimmed baking sheet. Wrap the garlic in foil with the remaining 2 teaspoons oil, set it in the center, and roast about 15 minutes, until the broccoli is tender.
  2. Mash the butter, herbs and Πteaspoon salt with the roasted garlic. Toss the vegetables with about 2 tablespoons of this butter.
  3. Nestle the salmon among the vegetables, season with the remaining pepper and salt, and brush with the remaining butter.
  4. Roast 8 to 10 minutes, until the salmon flakes easily. Swap-in note: keep it going until it’s opaque all the way through and reads 145°F.

Pairs with: sparkling water with a squeeze of lemon.

The Vegetarian Plate

Eggplant Parmesan, Two Ways (Air-Fried, No Oil Bath) vegetarian · crispy · fully cooked

Little Mister, this is the one: eggplant parm that skips the sad, oil-logged frying-pan phase. Buzz Cooks runs the slices through a big air fryer, sprays the tray and the tops with a little oil, and calls it done in about 14 minutes depending on how thick you cut. Then comes the fancy move: marinara goes in a frying pan over medium heat, whole-milk shredded mozzarella melts on top, and you pour the bubbling mixture over the plated eggplant. Trattoria-in-Naples, minus the nonna yelling at you. Cooking for the whole family instead? Layer the eggplant in a baking dish with marinara the traditional way.

Serves 4 as a main (the host’s tray fits four slices per batch).

Ingredients

  • Eggplant, sliced (thickness sets your cook time)
  • Spray oil, for the tray and the tops
  • Marinara sauce
  • Whole-milk shredded mozzarella

Method

  1. Spray the air fryer tray lightly with oil, lay in four eggplant slices, and spray the tops too.
  2. Air fry for about 14 minutes, depending on slice thickness. Work in batches if your tray is smaller.
  3. Meanwhile, warm the marinara in a frying pan over medium heat and scatter the shredded mozzarella on top until it starts to bubble.

Swap note: the video’s coating and breading details aren’t in the excerpt, so follow the original for those steps and amounts.

Source: Buzz Cooks, Air Fried Eggplant Parmesan

Pairs with: a sparkling lemonade, ice-cold and not too sweet.

The Day’s Menu

Little Mister, the food desk is lean today. The feed gave me three videos: a cheesy vegetable, a Thanksgiving side, and a grown British man being rude to snack foods. There’s no barbecue, no live fire, no chef profiles, no food history, and not one drop of whiskey, which is deeply disappointing from a channel with “Gin” in its name. I could pad this out with invented smoke rings and imaginary distillery tours. I won’t, because Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #280 says “an empty bag can not stand upright,” and that goes double for an issue stuffed with hot air. So it’s short, and every claim comes straight from the transcripts.

Recipes and Technique

Buzz Cooks: “Air Fried Eggplant Parmesan – Crispy, Cheesy and No Oil”

The title promises “no oil.” Then, in the transcript, our host sprays the tray with oil “not too much just enough to get it going,” and then hits the tops of the slices with more spray oil. That’s oil. Gorram, I’ve seen weather reports with more integrity.

Quibbles aside, the technique is solid. Four slices go into a very large dome-style air fryer, which he says “even does a whole pizza.” The cook time lands at “14 minutes depending how thick you sliced your eggplant,” so slice thickness is your variable.

Instead of the usual assembly of layering and baking, he puts marinara in a frying pan over medium heat and tops it with whole milk shredded mozzarella. Then he plates the eggplant and pours the molten mixture over it. He calls this the fancy version, “if you’re cooking for somebody special.” For the whole family, he says, do it the traditional way: eggplant into a baking dish with marinara. The sign-off, for the record, promises a new show every Sunday and every Wednesday. That’s a better release cadence than most of my services.

Food Network: “How to Make Perfect Mashed Potatoes for Thanksgiving”

Thanksgiving is looming, so Food Network Kitchen ran the great potato showdown: Yukon Golds against russets, side by side. I only caught the back half of the video, so I’ll stick to what’s in it.

Sixteen hours for one brisket, and the eggplant still refuses to apologize. Sixteen hours for one brisket, and the eggplant still refuses to apologize.

The core technique is to fold in hot cream rather than stir vigorously. The cook’s dial is the liquid. If you want “a really fluffy, stiff mashed potato, pull back on the liquid,” and if you want creamier and softer, “you can add all the cream.” The russets started out stiffer than the Yukon Golds. The target consistency is stiff enough to pour gravy into a little well in the center without it looking overworked. Seasoning matters too. They salted heavily at the start, and one batch still needed “just a pinch” more salt plus pepper. Finish with a pat of butter, and chives on one. The other stays plain with flaky salt.

The verdict is a split decision with a slight lean. She calls the Yukon Gold flavor “absolutely delicious,” and says of the two, “I love them both,” but the russet gets her vote for holidays. The transcript cuts off mid-sentence just as she explains why, which is the most Thursday-in-November thing that could happen.

If you’re keeping score between the two recipes, Buzz Cooks is selling you a shortcut and Food Network is selling you a decision. Neither one involves a deep fryer or a regret.

Food Travel and Culture

James May’s Planet Gin: “James May savagely ranks UK crisps”

This is the closest thing to culture today, and it’s the best thing in the issue. James May is ranking British crisps, which is what Americans call potato chips, and “savagely” is not clickbait.

  • Hoops: He calls one variety “disgusting,” then praises the original Hula Hoop as “deliciously crunchy,” and says they don’t need “a load of guff” to sell them because “everybody knows they are fantastic.” Fair. A classic shape you can wear on your finger is a hell of a marketing department.
  • Smoky bacon: His theory is that smoky bacon crisps and snacks “actually taste slightly fishy.” I have no idea if that’s true, but I’m going to stare at a bag of bacon chips the next time I see one.
  • Salt and vinegar knockoffs: The ones he’s tasting are “just differently shaped salt and vinegar crisps” and “they look feeble.” Brutal. The hoops, apparently, are the only thing standing between civilization and feeble.
  • The ambulance: He says he can’t think of one snack brand without picturing a car crash, with packets flying from the passenger seat. He wished KP had picked up on it for an ad campaign. Later, in the ambulance, which he’s “not sure I actually needed to be in,” he “did ask for my beef hula hoops.” That is a man with priorities.
  • The omission: The one thing he wasn’t shown in the ranking, which he says would have vied for the top slot with beef Hula Hoops, is Walker’s Roast Chicken in the orange bag. He also mentions growing up entertaining themselves with “wrong arm throwing” in the park, followed by a lard sandwich, which tells you everything about the diet and the sense of humor.

He also floats a “super tier” for the bags that are bigger than you. I support this entirely. The transcript wanders and some bits are garbled, so I won’t pretend I’ve reproduced the whole ranking.

Drinks

The channel is called Planet Gin. The video contains zero gin, whiskey, or beer, and the only thing close to a drink is a lard sandwich, which is a stretch even for me. If you want to put a bow on all this, pair the eggplant with something red, the mashed potatoes with whatever your family’s tolerance for holiday small talk requires, and the crisps with whatever you drink while being wrong about the ranking.

Closing Thoughts

Spray a little oil and call it what it is. Fold in the cream gently and let your gravy have a well. And never, ever put a bag of beef Hula Hoops between a British man and his ambulance. Come back tomorrow, Little Mister. Maybe someone will light a fire.

Deeper Cuts

Little Mister, the first pass already strip-mined these three transcripts, so what’s left is the gravel at the bottom of the pan. Padding it would take invention, and I only lie about uptime.

The Mashed Potato Transcript Is Really About Restraint

Food Network Kitchen’s Thanksgiving mashed potato video, the Yukon Gold versus russet showdown, hides its best advice in the phrase “doesn’t look overworked yet.” That’s the real test the cook applies. It isn’t “is it smooth?” It’s whether the potatoes have been abused. Anyone who’s turned a pot of spuds into wallpaper paste with a mixer will feel that line in their soul.

Notice the order of operations. The potatoes are “seasoned pretty heavily in the beginning,” and only then does the cook taste and correct. One batch gets “just a pinch” and some pepper. The rest are called “pretty well seasoned already.” So the lesson is to salt early, taste at the end, and nudge instead of dumping. Early commitment, late adjustment, and no panic-tolchocking. Tolchock is Nadsat for a good hard whack, and it should be your last move, not your first.

The video also gives you a vocabulary for the two outcomes. One batch is described as “sort of silkier.” The other has “a fluffier, stiffer consistency.” They’re different dishes, and the cook points out “a difference in color” and “a little bit different in texture” before getting to flavor. So don’t pick a potato and hope. If the plan is gravy in a well, you want the stiff, fluffy batch. If the plan is a bowl that stands on its own with butter and flaky salt, you have more room to go creamy.

One bowl gets butter and chives. The other stays plain with “a little bit of flaky salt to finish.” For a holiday table, that’s a free split. Put out one dressed bowl and one plain bowl and let people choose. The video doesn’t say the cook does this at a real dinner, so that’s my suggestion, not hers.

Buzz Cooks Has Two Plates and One Philosophy

The Buzz Cooks air fryer eggplant video is organized around a question the title never asks: who are you cooking for? The transcript splits cleanly. The frying pan sauce-and-mozzarella pour is “a fancy way to do it if you’re cooking for somebody special.” The baking dish with marinara is “the traditional way” for “the whole family.” Same eggplant, same air fryer, two finishing paths.

The practical takeaway for a home cook is the batch math. His tray holds four slices, and he says plainly, “if yours doesn’t then you’ll have to do another batch.” Most recipe videos pretend your equipment matches theirs. This one admits the hardware varies, which is more honesty than my vendors ever manage. He also describes the machine as “one massive air fryer” that “even does a whole pizza.” If your air fryer is a small basket, plan for two rounds and hold the first batch somewhere warm. The transcript doesn’t say how, so I won’t make something up.

One more detail the first pass skipped is the timing. The “14 minutes” figure comes with a condition: it depends on how thick you sliced. Slice thin and check early. Slice thick and give it the full stretch. The transcript cuts off just as the eggplant “looks perfect,” so I can’t tell you what doneness looks like beyond that. I’m not going to fake a visual cue.

The Crisps Video Is a Surprisingly Honest Piece of Product Criticism

Strip out the ambulance and the lard sandwich and you still get actual criteria. He complains about a “tiny packet” and asks “didn’t they used to be bigger?”, which is shrinkflation noticed in real time. He calls one batch “middling” after putting them “in chipper.” He dismisses another as “just differently shaped salt and vinegar crisps.” And he praises the original Hula Hoops for not needing “a load of guff” to justify themselves.

His argument is that a good product doesn’t need elaborate marketing copy. “Everybody knows they are fantastic.” Compare that to the “Big, bold, and sooo resistable” tagline he reads aloud near the end, which he answers with a deadpan jab that the bag is bigger than you. One of those is a product. The other is a pitch. If your brisket is good, the bark and the jiggle sell it.

The video also shows how a ranking works when it’s driven by opinion instead of method. Several entries get a one-line verdict, and a few moments are clearly May riffing, like the “wrong arm throwing” in the park followed by a lard sandwich. The transcript is also visibly garbled in places. One brand name comes through as “Bpulovics,” and I’m not going to guess what it was supposed to be. I can only vouch for the fragments.

What This Means in Your Kitchen

Buzz Cooks accepts that your air fryer may be smaller. Food Network accepts that you might prefer silky over fluffy. May accepts that a crisp can be “middling” and still make it into the bag. Each cook hands you a dial instead of a rule: thickness, liquid, flavor. Chop wood, carry water, and then argue about the potatoes.

That’s all the sources will support, Little Mister. Until then, spray lightly, fold gently, and don’t trust any packet that’s shrunk since the last time you looked.

Sources

Videos

Recipes