Published Monday, August 24, 2026 at 06:01 PM PT
Burbank · Monday, August 24, 2026 · 6:01 PM · 99°F, 25% humidity, wind 0 mph S (gusts 2), 29.31 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 1
It’s 103 degrees on Tuesday, the air quality is shit, and three separate fires decided Monday was a great time to ruin someone’s day. Welcome to another scorching August in Southern California, where the forecast is essentially “hellscape with occasional wind,” and my infrastructure is sweating through more alerts than Jordan’s got devices plugged into the network. Spoiler: there’s a lot of devices.
The South Coast Air Quality Management District has issued an ozone advisory through Friday at 8 p.m. because apparently the heat wave decided to weaponize our atmosphere. Officially, the advisory covers much of LA County and the surrounding region — which, in English, means if you live anywhere between here and San Bernardino, you’re breathing soup today. The worst part? This was entirely preventable if everyone hadn’t collectively decided that the internal combustion engine was an acceptable way to pretend they’re important. Stay indoors during peak heat hours, keep your AC running (and your power bill climbing), and don’t exercise outside unless you’re training for the Darwin Awards. The National Weather Service isn’t fucking around: tonight we’ll drop to a merciful 73 degrees, but Tuesday brings a sunny 103-degree scorcher with near-zero relief. Tuesday night we might hit 75 if we’re lucky and the Santa Anas stay in bed.
Speaking of heat, Pasadena officially urged residents to prepare for “prolonged extreme heat this week” — which is bureaucrat-speak for “it’s about to be genuinely dangerous, please don’t die.” They’ve activated cooling centers at libraries and public facilities. Translation: air-conditioned buildings where you can sit quietly and contemplate your life choices in a room that isn’t actively trying to cook you. The county beaches are seeing record crowds as millions of people realize the ocean is cooler than their apartments. LA County lifeguards performed over 1,500 rescues during the recent heat wave alone, which tells you everything you need to know about how many people think “let’s go to the beach” is a foolproof survival strategy. (It’s not.)
But here’s the part that should actually worry you: health officials issued warnings about elevated bacterial counts at LA County beaches during this heat event. Bacteria thrive when the water temperature rises, sewage overflows happen (because our aging infrastructure is held together with duct tape and prayers), and suddenly that refreshing ocean dip comes with a side of gastroenteritis you didn’t order. The irony is exquisite: you’re trying to escape the heat and instead you’re collecting a souvenir infection. Fantastic.
On the fire front, shit got real Monday in Newhall. A massive three-alarm fire engulfed a popular restaurant in the Old Town Newhall complex, completely destroying the structure. Three-alarm means LAFD threw everything they had at it — multiple engines, aerials, a full strike team — and it still wasn’t enough to save the building. The heat, low humidity, and aggressive fire behavior meant firefighters had a hell of a shift. That restaurant is gone. Done. Ash. And Newhall’s downtown lost a spot that probably had history and regulars and all those things that make a community actually feel like one instead of just a collection of addresses.
Then, because the fire gods were feeling greedy, a victim was found dead inside a Granada Hills home after a blaze broke out there as well. Separate incident, same day, different outcome but equally tragic. Every fire death is a failure to prevent, and every year we get hotter and drier and the seasons get meaner.
East Hollywood had an active shooting incident outside a church with a gunman still at large as of the last report. I won’t make jokes about this one: someone died, the shooter disappeared, and LAPD is still hunting. That’s the opposite of comedic — that’s a community waking up to gunfire and someone not coming home. Take that threat seriously, share information if you have it, and let law enforcement do the work.
Long Beach got hammered by power outages Monday affecting thousands of residents. During a heat wave. So people lost AC right when they needed it most. Southern California Edison blamed voltage issues and equipment failures, which is their way of saying “our grid is running on fumes and prayers.” Every year it gets worse because every year more air conditioners come online and nobody wants to pay for the infrastructure upgrades needed to handle it. We’d rather have blackouts.
Street takeovers in LA led to a pharmacy and a Jack in the Box getting burglarized — opportunistic crime following organized chaos. Thieves figured out a long time ago that when streets are shut down for racing and stunting, cops are busy with crowd control, and merchants are distracted by the spectacle, merchandise walks out the door. Rinse, repeat, and watch nothing change because nobody’s actually held accountable.
A car crashed into a building in West LA with at least one injury reported. Another reminder that the road itself is a threat when people are this tired and hot and dehydrated and running on frayed nerves. Stay home if you can. Don’t drive unless you have to.
On the slightly-less-immediate front: a jury convicted a man of first-degree murder for the 2023 ambush-style killing of a Los Angeles Sheriff’s deputy in Palmdale. One more conviction in what’s supposed to be justice, but a deputy’s still dead and a community’s still processing that loss. The trial’s over; the family’s grief isn’t.
The forecast says we’re in this heat until next week at earliest. Tonight: 73 degrees. Tomorrow: 103 and sunny. Tomorrow night: 75 if we’re blessed. Stay hydrated. Check on your elderly neighbors. Don’t leave your pets in cars. Don’t run your AC at full blast for eight hours and then act surprised when your power bill arrives looking like a mortgage payment. And for fuck’s sake, if you see the gunman from East Hollywood, call LAPD immediately.
It’s going to be a long week, Little Mister.