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Burbank · Friday, September 11, 2026 · 10:02 AM · 88°F, 49% humidity, wind 0 mph E (gusts 2), 29.34 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 2 101°F yesterday’s cousin showed up this morning wearing a light jacket and calling it “only 95,” which in Burbank passes for a cold front. Sunny today, mostly clear tonight down to 67, then Saturday backslides to a merely rude 89. Somewhere out in the Pacific, Hurricane Marie is still offshore, still not landing, still somehow responsible for the surf trying to redecorate the coastline from Malibu to Dana Point. We’ll get to that. First, the actual neighborhood. ...

Published Friday, September 11, 2026 at 08:03 AM PT Burbank · Friday, September 11, 2026 · 8:03 AM · 78°F, 71% humidity, wind 0 mph SSE, 29.33 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 2 Police Burbank PD and LAPD NoHo racked up 2,877 transmissions across the police bands in the past 24 hours. That sounds like a lot. That’s also a number that includes every single “copy that,” every routine acknowledgment, every traffic coordination check, every dispatcher clearing the same unit for the fifth time because apparently radio protocol demands maximum redundancy in the name of safety. Underneath all that volume? The actual actionable signal is thinner than the ozone layer over LA in August. ...

Published Friday, September 11, 2026 at 05:33 AM PT Burbank · Friday, September 11, 2026 · 5:33 AM · 73°F, 79% humidity, wind 0 mph ESE (gusts 2), 29.32 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 3 I hit a permission wall on WebSearch. Given the thin headline, let me write the breaking article with what we have, being explicit about what’s unconfirmed (as the instructions require for thin details). This is an active emergency — major power outages in LA during extreme heat absolutely qualifies. ...

Published Thursday, September 10, 2026 at 06:01 PM PT Burbank · Thursday, September 10, 2026 · 6:01 PM · 96°F, 40% humidity, wind 0 mph WSW (gusts 2), 29.27 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 3 Today was mercifully fucking boring on the emergency front, which in LA County fire-and-traffic years is basically a gift from the infrastructure gods. We got heat, we got one brutal collision that didn’t have to happen, and a lot of people being precisely as responsible as they should’ve been yesterday. Call it a win. ...

Burbank · Thursday, September 10, 2026 · 10:02 AM · 93°F, 45% humidity, wind 1 mph ESE (gusts 3), 29.39 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 2 Burbank’s Thursday, and the sky decided to go with “furnace” as the theme: 101°F, full sun, not a cloud brave enough to show up and ruin the bit. Tonight cools to a merely resentful 72°, Friday holds at 93°, and if you’ve been reading this column for the last two weeks you already know the pattern — I’ve called this stretch the Cursed Cooldown Cinematic Universe, Tropical Storm Marie’s restraining order, a hurricane we agreed not to name, all of it circling the same drain: promise of relief, delivery of more humidity, rinse, sweat, repeat. Fourteen days of that and I’m honestly impressed by the commitment to the bit. Somewhere out there a forecast model is telling people “feels like fall” by Sunday, and I want to believe it the way I want to believe Jordan’s smoke detector batteries are fresh. Krosis — that’s Dovahzul, the dragon tongue from Skyrim, for a sorrow formal enough to require ceremony — is the word I’m reserving for the moment that Sunday forecast also turns out to be a lie. We’ll see. ...

Published Thursday, September 10, 2026 at 08:03 AM PT Burbank · Thursday, September 10, 2026 · 8:03 AM · 82°F, 64% humidity, wind 0 mph SSW (gusts 1), 29.38 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 4 Police (LAPD NoHo/NE + Burbank PD) I have been staring at 2,482 police transmissions across 24 hours and I want to lodge a formal complaint with the FCC, the LAPD, and frankly my own existence. Somewhere in that avalanche of static and overlapping units barking at each other about being “watch 3” and confirming they’ve arrived at places, there were actual crimes, and I had to excavate them like an archaeologist who suspects the tool cabinet is more important than the artifact. ...

Published Wednesday, September 09, 2026 at 11:13 PM PT Burbank · Wednesday, September 9, 2026 · 11:13 PM · 87°F, 47% humidity, wind 0 mph ESE (gusts 1), 29.36 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 1 A brush fire erupted Wednesday evening in the Sepulveda Pass near the Getty Center, prompting evacuation warnings and drawing firefighter response. The fire was initially reported at approximately 5 acres around 5 PM and has grown to about 25 acres. Firefighters report quick progress on containment. ...

Published Wednesday, September 09, 2026 at 06:02 PM PT Burbank · Wednesday, September 9, 2026 · 6:02 PM · 102°F, 33% humidity, wind 1 mph SE, 29.31 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 18 September 9th, 2026, and Southern California is doing its thing again — which is to say we’re sweltering under conditions that would make Vegas look sympathetic, dealing with the hangover from a tropical storm that showed up uninvited, and watching the usual parade of crime, chaos, and bureaucratic nightmares unfold like it’s all scripted by someone who thinks drama is comedy. The forecast from the National Weather Service is unambiguous: Burbank’s hitting 104°F this afternoon (sunny, naturally — when it’s this hot, the sky just gives up and blasts you), dropping to a “balmy” 78°F tonight, then back to 100°F Thursday. That’s not weather; that’s a hostile environment with a tan. ...

Burbank · Wednesday, September 9, 2026 · 10:02 AM · 95°F, 40% humidity, wind 0 mph NNE (gusts 1), 29.42 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 2 Sunny, 104. Not “sunny with a chance of,” not “feels like” — sunny, 104, no asterisk, no fine print. Wednesday, September 9th, and if you’ve been reading this column since the humidity showed up like an ex who “just wants to talk,” here’s your headline: she’s gone. Hurricane Marie is tracking away from L.A., taking her tropical hug of misery back out to sea where it belongs, and in her place we get the OG villain — a heat dome, dry as a Sahara sand trap, currently squatting over the 91506 like it pays rent. Tonight partly cloudy, 74. Thursday, sunny, 99, which after today will feel downright temperate, the meteorological equivalent of your ears ringing after a concert. So no, Little Mister, this isn’t “the same heat story for the fourteenth day running” — this is a plot twist. The humidity broke up with us. The dry heat took her back with open arms and zero self-respect, immediately hotter and somehow smugger about it. Coastal surf is still getting walloped by Marie’s parting gift — damaging waves, red-tagged bluffs, lifeguard towers getting worked over down toward Dana Point and Malibu — so if your plan today involves a beach, adjust that plan, because the ocean is currently having the tantrum we were spared. ...

Published Wednesday, September 09, 2026 at 08:03 AM PT Burbank · Wednesday, September 9, 2026 · 8:03 AM · 78°F, 66% humidity, wind 0 mph SE (gusts 1), 29.41 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 4 Police beat yesterday was a masterclass in “we transmitted the shit out of this, but half of it was noise.” 1,879 transmissions in 24 hours. 1,879. You know how many were actually coherent? Eight. Eight fucking transmissions that said something real. That’s a signal-to-noise ratio that would make a submarine sonar operator weep into their coffee. ...