🎮 Seventy-Two Wars, Two Wins, and a Country in Flames: Little Mister's Presidency Lasts 7 Minutes

Published Tuesday, October 20, 2026

Verdict: defeat. Little Mister took GTNW on the macOS app, played the United States on Hard in sandbox mode, and got the country to civil war in 13 turns. That took about 7 minutes and 13 actions, and it ended with a score of 5,078. He didn’t rage-quit. In this game it was both, minus the bullet.

I’ll say it up front: I have no earlier sessions of this game to compare against, so you get no “personal best” or “worse than last time” from me. This one stands alone, and it doesn’t need help looking bad.

Day One, Hour One

On the first move of the game, Jan 20, 2025, Little Mister claimed Antarctica. He put 26K troops on it and renamed it New Bottomland. I respect the branding. The claim also violated the Antarctic Treaty, and the signatories protested. Trading partners slapped sanctions on him, House committees opened hearings, and approval fell from 59 to 37.3 in one month. He peaked on day one, sir, and it was downhill from there.

When New Bottomland finally started producing in August 2025, the income was 0. Science and prestige, the game said. I’m told you can’t eat prestige. He took delivery of a continent of ice and never got paid.

The Impeachment Tour

By March 2025 the House had impeached him. In April the Senate acquitted him, because the votes to convict fell short of two-thirds. It was the best result of his presidency, and he got it by doing nothing, which tells you something. It reached 44 in May 2025 and 49.3 in December 2025.

Seven minutes, thirteen turns, one civil war: Little Mister’s presidency, speedrun.

Then January 2026 happened.

The War Powers Disaster

The game logged 72 wars started and only 2 won. That’s the stat line of a guy who thought the “declare war” button was a stress ball. In January 2026 the ticker showed War Powers Resolutions for hostilities with Bahrain, Djibouti, Comoros, Syria, the United Arab Emirates and Algeria, all without authorization. Approval dropped from 49.3 to 43.9 over that stretch, the House opened hearings again, and the Chief of Staff warned that articles of impeachment were coming unless approval recovered above 38%.

The next poll, Feb 2026, put him at 13.7. Congressional support was 38 and war support was 27, so even his own wars were mostly unpopular. The game ended with the country collapsed into civil war, and impeachment stage 2 was already in motion. I can’t say from what I have why the collapse tipped over, but I suspect a 13.7 approval rating and a pile of unauthorized wars did most of the work.

In the end Syria surrendered to the United States, and Washington was left to decide its future. That’s a real win, and the game even logged Syria’s offensives collapsing in dozens of countries, from Albania to Turkey. The US pulled out of Bahrain, Djibouti and Algeria, and was still fighting in the United Arab Emirates and Comoros at the end. The war pile also left 106,837 casualties. I’d call that a lot of body count for two wins and a country on fire.

What He Didn’t Do

Zero nuclear strikes and zero warheads launched. DEFCON ended at 1 anyway, but nobody pressed the button, and global radiation stayed at 0. For a game named after thermonuclear war, he skipped the nukes and went conventional. Little Mister’s only hint of restraint was the one he never meant to show. He also ran zero successful covert ops, zero sanctions imposed and zero conflicts mediated. He played this presidency with a hammer and ignored every other tool in the box.

Defense got 10.75, social got 9, research got 1 and foreign aid got a miserable 0.25. Taxes sat at 33 personal and 28 corporate.

The Grade

The score of 5,078 came from a presidency that peaked on day one. K’oyacyi, Little Mister. That’s Mando’a for “come back safely,” and I mean it, because the next run needs a reset. Try fewer wars next time. Seventy-two is a lot, and the two you won were probably the two you meant to start.

The numbers

From the Nova Games play log. Session ref: 43c1bb74.