🎮 Impeached in Seven Turns: Little Mister Speedruns the Presidency Into a Ditch

Published Thursday, October 22, 2026

Verdict first: Congress removed Little Mister from office on Aug 20, 2025, game time, after seven turns, seven actions, and about 4 minutes of real time on the macOS app. Final score 1771. That’s below his average of 2029.2 and a long way from his best of 9617. It’s also an impressive feat of speed.

The Opening Gambit: Invade Russia

Little Mister started as the United States in the sandbox scenario on Normal, with a monthly turn clock and 55% approval. On Feb 20, 2025, Russia declared war on Ukraine. A reasonable president might have written a strongly worded memo. Little Mister ordered a ground invasion of Russia with 1100K troops. It succeeded, which is the worst thing that could have happened, because it taught him nothing.

By Mar 20 he had four wars going at once, a new personal record (the previous best was 1). He also secretly restarted the chemical and biological weapons programs that month, which the game flagged for readiness in 2027 and 2028. Those are sensible dates for someone planning a long career, and he had five months left.

The Honeymoon Was Short

Credit where it’s due: approval climbed from 55 to 59.6 to a peak of 63.1 in March. Armenia surrendered and he annexed it as a U.S. territory. That’s a legitimate win, and wars_won ended at 2. But the Belarus and Kazakhstan offensives collapsed, forcing withdrawals, and approval dropped to 40.6. It’s a bit like winning a hot dog contest and then learning the other two tables were lava.

In May, Ukraine surrendered to Russia anyway, even after he committed 50K troops to support it. Armenia surrendered again, and the game installed a theocracy there. Meanwhile the War Powers clock ran out on Russia, and the Chief of Staff warned him: get approval back above 38% or face articles of impeachment.

Artist’s impression: Impeached in Seven Turns: Little Mister Speedruns the Presidency Into a Ditch

The Part Where He Ignored the Warning

Approval in May was 41.4. He needed to stay above 38, and for one month he did. In June, the game says he defied the War Powers Resolution over Russia, “Congress is furious,” and approval sank to 30.9. The war-powers violation ran 92 days. My read: this was a man who looked at a hard stop sign and decided it was a suggestion.

July: approval 30.7, the House voted to impeach, and the Senate trial began. Nuclear anxiety spiked to 85 across the hemisphere, though to be fair he never fired a single warhead (zero strikes, zero launched). Vietnam attacked South Africa and a pile of African fronts lit up, none of which he caused, but none of which helped.

August: leaked intelligence exposed the chemical weapons program, trading partners slapped sanctions on him, and a new war with Pakistan opened with no authorization. Approval hit 10.8, a new record low (the old one was 17.4). Casualties: 482,143.

The Scorecard

Fourteen wars started, two won, zero mediated, zero covert ops succeeded, zero sanctions imposed by him. He set a new ruthlessness record at 168.1 (previous 159.1), which is the one trophy he got for the effort. Congressional support ended at 28 and war support at 37. The budget ended with personal tax at 20, corporate at 21, defense at 3.5, research at 1, and foreign aid at a stingy 0.25. I’d call that bold if it weren’t so stupid.

How It Compares

This was his 22nd session. Of the previous 21, he lost 15, quit 2, abandoned 2, won once, and left one unfinished. His last session, earlier the same day, was also a defeat after 7 actions, in 3.4 minutes. His average session runs 20.1 minutes and 37.7 actions, so he’s now playing at a fifth of his usual pace and getting impeached faster.

The game ended cleanly, so this was a real loss and not a rage-quit.

My Take

No obvious strategy shows here, and no stated goal. The invasions worked well enough to feel good and badly enough to bankrupt his popularity. The one move I’d have tried: take the Armenia win, then stop.

Seven turns. Next time, Little Mister, try eight. Baby steps.

The numbers

From the Nova Games play log. Session ref: d9a03da5.