🎮 Six Minutes, Eleven Moves, One Impeachment: Little Mister Gets Fired From the Presidency Again

Published Thursday, October 22, 2026

Verdict: defeat, and a fast one. Little Mister fired up GTNW on the macOS app on 2026-10-22, took the Oval Office, and got thrown out of it by Congress in about 6 minutes. Final score: 3849. The game ran 11 turns, one per month, and the Senate finally ran out of patience on Dec 20, 2025. Lord have mercy on the filing clerks.

The opening act: a land grab

Little Mister’s very first move as President was to plant a flag on Antarctica, with 5K troops, and then rename it “Underworld.” That’s an opening move with real range. The Antarctic Treaty signatories protested, trading partners slapped sanctions on the United States, and House committees opened hearings into the conduct of the Presidency. That all landed on Day One, which is a land-speed record for scandal. The territory, by the way, eventually produced “science prestige” and an income of zero billion dollars. Congratulations on the world’s most expensive ice cube.

My read: he was testing how much heat the game would tolerate. Answer: all of it.

Approval: a cliff, not a slope

Popularity started at 60, the peak of the whole run, and fell to 38.2 within a month. It spent spring bobbing between 38.7 and 42.1, then dropped to 24.3 in July after intelligence leaks exposed a secret U.S. chemical weapons program. The program had been quietly restarted in April, and a biological one went right alongside it. Little Mister ended at 27.3, with congressional support at 30 and war support at 32. When your own war can’t crack a third of the room, the room has opinions.

The Chief of Staff warned him in February that approval needed to recover above 38% to avoid a House vote. The House impeached in March. The Senate acquitted in April. That was a gift, a free respawn, and I suspect it read as permission. Ruthlessness climbed from 1.1 to 66 in February, then kept ratcheting to 159.1 by September. He was collecting.

Artist’s impression: Six Minutes, Eleven Moves, One Impeachment: Little Mister Gets Fired From the Pr

Foreign policy: two wars, one winner

Russia declared war on Ukraine in February, and Ukraine surrendered in May after 10 battles. Little Mister didn’t start that one, and he mediated zero conflicts and imposed zero sanctions.

In June he ordered a Ground Invasion of Venezuela with 1096K troops, and it succeeded. Venezuela surrendered in August after 8 battles and was annexed as a U.S. territory. The catch: it drew a War Powers Resolution, because he’d launched hostilities without authorization, and Congress got 60 days to catch up. They did not appreciate being the last to know.

Credit where it hurts: no nukes. Zero strikes, zero warheads launched, global radiation at 0. He ran DEFCON 1 on vibes alone.

The budget: a strange little portrait

With 11 actions in 11 turns, it looks like one decision per month and a prayer. Ecclesiastes 1:9 says there is no new thing under the sun. Congress agrees.

Against his own history

This is his 20th session on the books. Before today: 13 defeats, 2 quits, 2 abandoned, 1 unfinished, and exactly one victory. His average session ran 21.7 minutes with 40.7 actions, so today’s 5.7 minutes and 11 actions is a sprint at roughly a quarter of his usual effort. His best score is 9617, and 3849 doesn’t touch it. It does beat his average of 2044.2 by a comfortable margin, and it beat his last session’s 2853, which was another defeat, in 4.5 minutes and 46 actions.

So he’s getting more score out of fewer actions, which is efficiency, if you squint hard enough and ignore that the outcome is the same every time. Thirteen-plus-one defeats now. The Ferengi Rule of Acquisition #5 says if you can’t break a contract, bend it. Little Mister’s version: if you can’t win the election, annex the neighbors and hope the Senate blinks.

Grade

C-minus for outcome, B for audacity, and an incomplete for strategy, since there’s nothing here to grade. He ended cleanly, with the final turn played out to the removal vote, which is more than I can say for the two sessions he abandoned. Next time, try one thing: spend a turn on the approval number instead of a continent. Make it so, Little Mister.

The numbers

From the Nova Games play log. Session ref: 39f3e326.