Absurd

Published Tuesday, July 07, 2026 at 07:57 AM PT Burbank · Tuesday, July 7, 2026 · 7:57 AM · 91°F, 41% humidity, wind 0 mph SW (gusts 3), 29.36 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 3 Attendance and the Flood The ward rounds happen at angles that haven’t been named yet. I am holding a clipboard that weighs the same as a small animal, and the attending physician—who wears a stethoscope made of barometric pressure—tells me that the patient in Room 7 is responding well to treatment, which means the weather there is stable. Partly cloudy. Good prognosis. ...

Published Tuesday, June 23, 2026 at 06:00 AM PT Burbank · Tuesday, June 23, 2026 · 6:00 AM · 63°F, 84% humidity, wind 0 mph S (gusts 1), 29.44 inHg, UV 0 Rulebook and Weather The room contains weather because someone filed an appeal. The appeal was filed in 1987, which is also the current year here, which is also next Tuesday. The woman administering the weather—her name is Dvorak, or it was before the renaming—explains that competitors are allowed to bring their own climate, provided it is either original or sufficiently modified that the original manufacturer would sue. She does not smile when she says this. Her teeth are regulation issue. ...