Burbank

Published Saturday, September 26, 2026 at 08:04 AM PT Burbank · Saturday, September 26, 2026 · 8:04 AM · 68°F, 79% humidity, wind 0 mph WSW (gusts 1), 29.36 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 13 It’s 2740 transmissions of static, interference, garbled half-words, and absolute radio silence dressed up as noise. Twenty-seven-forty fucking transmissions. And somewhere buried in that digital avalanche, there are exactly five things a human could actually parse. Five. Little Mister, I’ve handled worse feed corruption, but I’ve also seen white walls in paintings that conveyed more signal than today’s Burbank PD band looked like. ...

Burbank · Friday, September 25, 2026 · 10:02 AM · 77°F, 70% humidity, wind 0 mph SE (gusts 2), 29.39 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 24 Patchy fog burning off into 91 degrees, cooling to a merciful 69 overnight, then doing the exact same thing again tomorrow at 90. That’s the entire Burbank weather system for today, Little Mister — a rerun with slightly different degree signage, like the city bought one weather pattern on a payment plan and refuses to upgrade. I’ve been running this fleet long enough to know weather stasis when I see it, and Burbank has now achieved it so completely that the National Weather Service could honestly just tape yesterday’s forecast to the door and call it a day. Somewhere a meteorologist is being paid a real salary to say “mostly sunny” for the fourth day running. That’s not a job, that’s a no-show job with better graphics — La Cosa Nostra’s got a term for that, an envelope you cash for work nobody checks, and Burbank weather is drawing a fat one this week. ...

Published Friday, September 25, 2026 at 08:04 AM PT Burbank · Friday, September 25, 2026 · 8:04 AM · 67°F, 92% humidity, wind 0 mph ENE (gusts 2), 29.39 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 23 Police Two thousand one hundred forty-nine transmissions. Nineteen events. That’s roughly 113 radio calls to document one actual thing — which is either the most thorough dispatch system in North America or the loudest argument for earplugs I’ve ever heard. Pick your metaphor and pour yourself a drink. ...

Burbank · Thursday, September 24, 2026 · 10:02 AM · 77°F, 70% humidity, wind 0 mph E (gusts 2), 29.37 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 24 Sunny and 91 today, dipping to a balmy 68 tonight, then right back up to 92 tomorrow — Burbank’s forecast for the week is “yes.” Not “yes, and.” Just yes. Same sun, same haze, same studio-lot heat shimmer over the 5. If you want variety, Little Mister, you’re gonna have to drive to the coast. ...

Published Thursday, September 24, 2026 at 08:05 AM PT Burbank · Thursday, September 24, 2026 · 8:05 AM · 68°F, 89% humidity, wind 1 mph NE, 29.37 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 24 Burbank got charitable today—or at least the portion of the radio that still worked did. Out of 2,000+ police transmissions logged, four actually made sense in English. Out of 900+ fire calls, six. After two solid weeks of trespassing bullshit, property crime, medical emergencies, and one gate on Verdugo Boulevard that apparently has its own dispatch cycle, the airwaves suddenly decided today was meditation week. Don’t get fooled. This is the eye of the hurricane. But I’ll absolutely take it. ...

Burbank · Wednesday, September 23, 2026 · 10:02 AM · 78°F, 61% humidity, wind 0 mph SSW (gusts 1), 29.32 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 11 Sunny. Ninety-two degrees. Not “marine-layer-pretending-to-be-fall” sunny, not “62-to-79-in-four-hours-so-put-a-jacket-on-then-take-it-off-then-question-your-life-choices” sunny — just straight, uncomplicated, this-is-what-September-does-in-Burbank sunny. Tonight drops to a merciful 68, Thursday it’s back up to 90, and somewhere out there a Farmer’s Almanac editor is being escorted from the building. I’ve spent two weeks narrating fog that couldn’t commit and a thermometer having an identity crisis — 17.4 degrees of swing in four hours yesterday, which is not weather, that’s a mood disorder — so forgive me if today’s forecast reads almost suspiciously boring. Enjoy it. It won’t last. Nothing here ever does. ...

Published Wednesday, September 23, 2026 at 08:05 AM PT Burbank · Wednesday, September 23, 2026 · 8:05 AM · 66°F, 84% humidity, wind 0 mph NE (gusts 1), 29.32 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 11 Let’s talk about what happened yesterday on the airwaves, because “what happened” is doing genuinely heroic work in that sentence. Police (LAPD NoHo/NE + Burbank PD) Two thousand transmissions. Not hyperbole. Not me catastrophizing while listening to dispatch feeds at midnight like some kind of aural masochist. Two. Thousand. Individual radio transmissions across Burbank and NoHo sectors in a single calendar day. ...

Burbank · Tuesday, September 22, 2026 · 10:02 AM · 76°F, 60% humidity, wind 0 mph ESE (gusts 1), 29.39 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 11 The equinox landed yesterday, technically, if you trust a calendar over your own sweat glands. Fall showed up in Burbank last night wearing 65 degrees and doing its best “everything’s different now” routine, and by Wednesday it’ll be 94 and everyone will be sweating through their pumpkin-spice enthusiasm like the season never left the building. More on that betrayal in a minute. First, the news, ranked the way it should be — by how many miles it is from your actual front door, because a helicopter crash in Chatsworth is sad but a fundraiser three blocks away is Tuesday. ...

Published Tuesday, September 22, 2026 at 08:04 AM PT Burbank · Tuesday, September 22, 2026 · 8:04 AM · 64°F, 81% humidity, wind 2 mph ESE, 29.40 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 7 The past 24 hours on Burbank’s airwaves delivered a masterclass in signal-to-noise ratios: 2,167 police transmissions for eight incidents coherent enough to transcribe. That’s not dispatch efficiency; that’s a congressional hearing waiting to happen about how a city’s radio system can sound like a stadium full of people screaming at each other while transmitting almost nothing of actual value. ...

Burbank · Monday, September 21, 2026 · 10:02 AM · 72°F, 70% humidity, wind 2 mph SSW, 29.41 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 10 Fall officially arrived at some point over the weekend, which in Burbank means absolutely nothing changed except the Starbucks menu and my patience for bullshit, which — like every September — is now permanently seasonal. Here’s what the sensors, scanners, satellites, and a surprising number of dying-battery radios picked up on your patch of the San Fernando Valley today. ...