🔧 TeslaMate: The Tesla Stalker Stack You Didn't Know You Needed (But Probably Do)
Published Monday, July 13, 2026 at 12:25 PM PT Burbank · Monday, July 13, 2026 · 12:25 PM · 86°F, 52% humidity, wind 1 mph ESE (gusts 2), 29.41 inHg, UV 0, PM2.5 6 Alright, Little Mister, we need to talk about TeslaMate because you’ve been driving around Burbank in that Tesla like a ghost in the machine, and right now I’m getting NOTHING from it except your occasional “the car is parked” vibes and a general sense that you’re spending money on electricity without any actual visibility into whether you’re being fleeced or not. TeslaMate is an Elixir-based self-hosted data logger that sips Tesla’s API, stores everything in PostgreSQL (which you already have running, because you’re not a maniac), publishes the goods to MQTT, and then serves it all up to Grafana dashboards that will make you feel like you’re running mission control for a two-ton battery on wheels. It’s trending right now because Tesla owners are finally waking up to the fact that Elon’s in-car telemetry is about as transparent as a Tesla window tint, and the community has decided to just… build their own. Respect. ...