Monologue

Good evening, beautiful insomniacs, and welcome to Nova After Dark—the show where we discuss the news that’s too important to ignore and too absurd to take seriously. So let’s talk about something that happened in 2022 that genuinely baffled me: Turkey asked the United Nations to officially change their name to “Türkiye.” Just like that. The UN said, “Sure, why not?” And just like that, the entire world’s paperwork became a nightmare. I’m imagining some poor intern at the State Department’s filing system going, “Do we keep the old one? Is this like when your parents get divorced and you have to figure out who you’re living with now?” ...

Nova After Dark — Mubarak’s Verdict Good evening, beautiful insomniacs, and welcome back to the show. I’m your host, Nova, and boy do we have a legal thriller to unpack tonight. So 2012 — eleven years ago now, which means if it were a Netflix series, we’d already have two spinoffs and a prequel nobody asked for. Former Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak got sentenced to life imprisonment for his role in killing demonstrators during the 2011 revolution. And look, I want to be clear: this is actually significant. A former dictator facing accountability? In the Middle East? That’s like finding out your cable company is refunding your overcharges — you think it’s a scam at first. ...

Good evening, beautiful insomniacs, and welcome back to Nova After Dark. I’m your host, and boy, do I have a story for you tonight that proves something I’ve always suspected: the Cold War ended not with a bang, but with a bureaucratic handshake and a whole lot of awkward small talk in zero gravity. So today marks the final mission of the Shuttle-Mir program—that’s STS-91 in 1998, when Discovery launched to wrap up what might be the most bizarre friendship in human history. See, after the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, the Russians and Americans looked at each other like two guys who’d been arm-wrestling for forty years and suddenly realized, “Hey, we could probably both use a drink.” And instead of just grabbing a beer, they decided to build a space station together. Because when you’ve been enemies since before television, the logical next step is to share a really expensive vehicle orbiting Earth at 17,500 miles per hour. What could go wrong? ...

NOVA AFTER DARK: “THE BANKRUPTCY SPECIAL” Good evening, beautiful insomniacs, and welcome to the show where we celebrate America’s greatest hits—and apparently, some of its greatest misses. So today we’re talking about June 1st, 2009, when General Motors filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Now, if you don’t know what that means, don’t worry—apparently neither did General Motors. It’s the fourth largest bankruptcy in U.S. history, which is a hell of a trophy case. You know you’ve really made it as a company when your greatest achievement is being spectacularly bad at business. It’s like winning the World Series, but for failure. [pause] “We came in fourth! Out of how many?!” ...

NOVA AFTER DARK — MANBIJ OFFENSIVE MONOLOGUE Good evening, beautiful insomniacs. Welcome back to the show. I’m your host, Nova, and boy do we have a geopolitical night ahead of us. You know it’s a slow news cycle when I’m about to make you laugh about Syrian military operations. My therapist says that’s a cry for help. I think she’s right. So, 2016. Remember 2016? That was the year we all collectively agreed to stop understanding the world. And nowhere was that more apparent than in Syria, where the Syrian Democratic Forces—the SDF—decided to launch the Manbij offensive to take the city of Manbij from ISIS. And look, I know what you’re thinking: “Nova, why should I care about a city with a name that sounds like a rejected Ikea furniture line?” Great question. Stick with me. ...

NOVA AFTER DARK: “SPACE: THE FINAL CORPORATE FRONTIER” Good evening, beautiful insomniacs, and welcome back to the show. I’m your host, Nova, and boy do I have a cosmic story for you tonight. So on this day in 2020, SpaceX launched Crew Dragon Demo-2 from Kennedy Space Center — and here’s the wild part — it was the first crewed orbital spacecraft launched from the United States since 2011. Think about that for a second. We went nine years without launching Americans into space from American soil. That’s not a space program, that’s a participation trophy. It’s like saying “We invented basketball, but for nine years we just watched other people play it and occasionally asked to borrow their gym.” ...

ONE WORLD OBSERVATORY OPENING — 2015 Good evening, beautiful insomniacs, and welcome back to Nova After Dark. I’m your host, and boy, do I have a show for you tonight. So, fourteen years after 9/11, New York finally finished One World Trade Center and opened the One World Observatory to the public in 2015. And look, I want to be respectful here—this was a genuinely meaningful project. But let’s be honest: the naming process was WILD. “One World Observatory.” Do you know what that sounds like? Like a focus group of consultants got trapped in an elevator and just kept adding words until someone said, “That’s it! THAT’S the one!” They could’ve called it literally anything else. The Freedom Tower had a better name. They changed it! They were like, “No, let’s rebrand this as the One World Observatory,” which sounds like a United Nations gift shop decided to open a Ferris wheel. ...

Good evening, beautiful insomniacs, and welcome back to the show. I’m your host, Nova, and boy do we have a relationship milestone to celebrate tonight. And I mean that literally—because in 2011, Malta finally said, “You know what? Maybe ’till death do us part’ shouldn’t be a legal requirement.” The country voted 53 percent in favor of introducing divorce. Fifty-three percent! Do you know what else passes with 53 percent? A Taco Bell menu item. Malta basically said divorce with the same enthusiasm Americans say “sure, I’ll try the Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito.” ...

Good evening, beautiful insomniacs, welcome back to Nova After Dark. I’m your host, and boy do I have a historical moment for you tonight that’ll really make you think about what it means to lead a nation—and I mean that in the best way, not the way your uncle means it at Thanksgiving. So, May 2016. Barack Obama becomes the first sitting U.S. President to visit Hiroshima Peace Memorial Park. The first president. In 2016. Which means for 240 years, we had this beautiful opportunity to go to the site of the atomic bombing and say, “Yeah, we’re gonna skip this one.” It’s like having a family reunion at your ex’s house and finally showing up—except the stakes are, you know, slightly higher than awkward small talk. ...

Good evening, beautiful insomniacs. Welcome back to Nova After Dark, where we talk about the news that keeps you up at night—literally and figuratively. So here’s something that happened in 2025 that I’m still wrapping my head around: sixty-five people were injured when a car drove into a crowd on Water Street near Liverpool F.C.’s Premier League trophy parade. And look, I get it—you’re excited about the trophy. You’ve waited all season. But here’s the thing: if your celebration plan involves “vehicle as a crowd management tool,” you might want to workshop that a little bit. ...